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Pilot/Transcript
(Camped out at lake around campfire) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: Every year me and the guys camped out at the lake right before school started to celebrate our last weekend of freedom. But this year was different. I was actually looking forward to school. Tommy Dawkins: A toast to our senior year. I'll go get some drywood. (Hunting for drywood) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: I was quarterback of the football team, my folks were finally letting me drive the Jeep and my skin had cleared up. Things were looking good. It seemed like nothing to go wrong until... (Wolf howl) Tommy Dawkins: Very funny Mitchell! Little scared! (Wolf bites him) Tommy Dawkins: Aargh! Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: I didn't know it then, but from that night on my life would never be the same. Intro (View of town and house from outside) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: This is Pleasantville, my hometown. And this is 1236 Ogden Street also known as Casa de Dawkins. (Inside house) Bob Dawkins: Good morning, son! Tommy Dawkins: Morning, Dad. (Lounge room. Dean is in an armchair eating and watching TV.) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: That's my brother Dean. Tommy Dawkins: Boy, you're up early, Dean. Job interview? Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: He graduated from college two years ago. Dean Dawkins: I've been here since last night. I was up late watching Leno, some infomercials... Oh hey, the UPS guy comes, don't sign anything. I think I ordered another ab roller. (Kitchen) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: That's my mom. She's a reporter for the TV station here in Pleasantville. Tommy Dawkins: (To dad.) Hey. Sally Dawkins: If the mayor doesn't do something about this sanitation crisis quickly, I'm gonna have to do an editorial on tonight's news. Bob Dawkins: All right, I'll take out the garbage. Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: And that's my dad. He's the mayor. Sally Dawkins: Morning Tommy. You ready for your first day of senior year? We're expecting big things from you. Bob Dawkins: Yeah, we sure are. You may be our last hope. Dean Dawkins: (Shouting from lounge room.) I heard that! (Shot of school) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: Pleasantville High. Home of the Angry Badgers. (Tommy walks along the corridor) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: The cool thing about being a senior is that you get more respect, you can walk a little taller, everybody knows who you are. Re-yah! Tommy Dawkins: Hugo, my man! Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: That's Hugo, our creepy security guard. Hugo Bostwick: (To student walking past.) You! Breathe. (Cafeteria) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: That's Tim and Travis Eckert, or TNT as they like to be called. Tim: Quit whining, freshmo. You can buy back your inhaler at the end of the day. Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: They've been here for six years and they're still only juniors. TNT: TNT rules!! (Chest bumps.) Argh! Argh! Argh! (Lockers) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: And that is Stacey Hanson, the hottest girl in our school, but totally untouchable. And she's been dating seniors since the sixth grade. Stacey Hanson: Hey, Tommy. Tommy Dawkins: Hey, Stacey. Tim: Hey, check it out, everyone. Dawkins is finally asking out Stacey Hanson! Stacey Hanson: Oh, is that what you're doing, Tommy? Tommy Dawkins: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess I am. Ahem. Tim: You oughta check out the Monster Mud 'n' Truck Show at the County Expo. Tim: It's good. Tommy Dawkins: Stacey, uh, how would you like to grab a bite at The Factory Saturday night? Just the two of us? Stacey Hanson: I would love that. Sounds good, Tommy. Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: Like I said: being here is awesome! (Later, Tommy is surrounded by other students and is saying goodbye to them) Tommy Dawkins: Pitching practice. Cool, man. Later. All right, guys, take care. (The guys leave. Merton walks up to his locker next to Tommy's.) Tommy Dawkins: What's up, man? You, ah, new here? Merton Dingle: No, Tommy, I'm Merton Dingle. We've had lockers next to each other since kindergarten. I'm president of the Gothic Fantasy Guild. The school cut our funding when the other guy graduated, but so we're coming back strong. Hey, you interested? Tommy Dawkins: Yeah, right. Thanks anyways, Martin? Merton Dingle: Uh, Merton. (Tommy's eyes flash yellow.) Tommy Dawkins: Whatever. See you later. (Football practice) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: It was The Angry Badgers' first practice of the year and even the cheerleaders came to check it out. (Stacey is among the cheerleaders. Tommy gets the ball and sends it like a missile to another player, knocking him over backwards.) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: Don't get me wrong, I've always been a strong quarterback but, this... (Tommy looks at his hands in wonder) Coach: Dawkins. Keep checking tomahawks like that, we're not gonna have any receivers left for you to throw to, buddy. Tommy Dawkins: You know, I don't know what it is, Coach. I just, um, I feel really strong today, you know? Coach: Well, we all knew it was coming. Now it's official. Dawkins, you're our new captain. Congratulations. Tommy Dawkins: Thanks, Coach! Thanks a lot, Coach! Thank you. Thanks Coach! (Tommy runs back to his locker, opens it) Hugo Bostwick: (Coming over.) Well, well, Dawkins Karma Thomas. Looks like I'm onto your secret. (Hugo measures the size of a woman's poster stuck to Tommy's inside locker door.) Hugo Bostwick: This little item is in violation of the Locker Accessories Code, which I'm currently trying to pass. Your hands... Tommy Dawkins: I, um, like to keep them warm after practice. Hugo Bostwick: I was the same way when I played for the Packers. Tommy Dawkins: You play for the Green Bay Packers? Hugo Bostwick: Meat Packers. Softball team. I played third, string. I've got my eye on you, Dawkins! My real one! (Hugo leaves. Tommy sinks a little.) Tommy Dawkins: (To himself.) Oh God! (He looks at his hands and sees they've wolfed out. He freaks out, closes his locker door, and runs away. From behind the corner, Merton appears, having spied on the whole thing.) (Tommy is running along town streets at hyper-speed) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: If the gate to the park isn't chained off and the Bradfords keep their rottweiler inside, it means you were home from school in eight minutes. Today I made it in fifty-six seconds. (Tommy enters his home and sees his hands are back to normal) Tommy Dawkins: (To himself.) Thank you! Thank you! Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: There was something weird going on. I just didn't know how weird. (Tommy checks his face in the mirror near the door and sees his teeth have grown. He screams in fright.) (Merton's lair. Merton is paging through a tome before him and checking on his computer.) Merton Dingle: (To himself.) Yellow eyes, conspicuous bodily hair growth. That's it! (His sister Becky comes in) Becky Dingle: Hey Merton, if you're done downloading nudie pictures of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, dinner's ready. Tommy Dawkins: Get outta my lair! Becky Dingle: It's not a lair, Freakenstein! It's our basement! (High school cafeteria) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: I guess it's normal to be a high school kid with uncontrollable urges. I'm not so sure it's normal to have those urges for chicken. (Tommy's ordering food in the food line) Tommy Dawkins: And a drumstick, right. Give me a couple of the steins right there. Oh and another breast. Gimme another breast. Yeah, please. If you could just give me a couple whole chickens, please. I'm, thanks. (Stacey has walked up next to him) Tommy Dawkins: I, um... You know, I don't like to practice on an empty stomach. Stacey Hanson: Save a little appetite for Saturday night, captain! (She walks away. Tommy's ears start wolfing out. Merton calls out to Tommy from a table.) Merton Dingle: Tommy! Your ears! (Walking over.) Can I see them? Your wolf ears, can I check 'em out? Tommy Dawkins: So my ears were a little big. It's a Dawkins family trait. Merton Dingle: It's all right. I know about you: the fur, the yellow eyes, the voracious appetite. You got all the symptoms. Tommy Dawkins: (Whispering.) Will you be...? Merton Dingle: You're becoming a werewolf! And, and I think I can help. Tommy Dawkins: You know what I think? I think you're spending a little too much time with your fantasy freak club. You know, you should really watch what you say to people. Werewolf! It's's no wonder you don't have any friends, Martin. Merton Dingle: Fine! Just be careful. It's a full moon this Saturday. (The Factory) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: All I cared about this Saturday was my date with Stacey. (Stacey bowls and gets a strike) Stacey Hanson: Another strike! What does that give me? Tommy Dawkins: One-sixty-two?! Stacey Hanson: All right! (Hugo is there bowling too. His ball goes into the gutter.) Hugo Bostwick: Left, right, left, right, left, right. Stacey Hanson: Tommy, we've been going to school together since, what, second grade? Tommy Dawkins: Hmm. Stacey Hanson: Why did you wait eleven years to ask me out? Tommy Dawkins: I told you. In the second grade I had a pretty serious relationship with GI Joe. (Stacey laughs.) Besides that, you were kind of a hair puller. Stacey Hanson: You know what I mean. Tommy Dawkins: You know, I guess, um, I guess some things are with waiting for. (Tim is mooning them both) Tim: Hey Dawkins, you check out the full moon tonight? I hear it's pretty romantic! (Tommy puts his hand over Stacey's eyes) Travis: Tim! Stacey Hanson: I don't know whether to throw up or to shower! Don't go anywhere, okay, Tommy? (Goes to bathroom.) Tim: (Doing up pants.) So bro, we were front row at the Mud 'n' Truck Show. Man, it was epic. Travis: We saw Don King Kong Wong. (TNT kneel and cross their hearts) Travis: In his first car crush outing since cuts... Tim: Hey, man. Travis: Gone in the Carmody. Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: Now, maybe I was just nervous about things with Stacey. Suddenly I started to feel weird. I mean, weird. And then I remembered what that Merton guy said. (Tommy starts wolfing out) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: That's when things got out of control. (Tommy puts on sunglasses) TNT: Nice glasses! Tim: Where'd you get 'em? (Tommy runs out the back of the Factory and is in pain as he continues transforming) (Back in the Factory) Stacey Hanson: Where did Tommy go? Tim: Uh, he didn't say, he just took off. Stacey Hanson: What, like, he left? I don't understand. Is he coming back? Travis: Dawkins is a dog! I know a couple of other... Pit check! (They smell each others' armpits.) ...eligible bachelors... Stacey Hanson: Oh! (Tommy fully transforms and howls.) (Tommy races down the streets at hyper-speed) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: I was full-blown werewolf: hair, fangs, claws. I was desperate! There was only one person I could turn to. (Merton's house. He's walking down the stairs to his lair. His mother calls out behind him.) Mrs. Dingle: Where are you going, Merton? Don't you wanna watch Pets Fighting Angle with your parents? Merton Dingle: No thanks! (Entering lair.) Hey, Snakey Snakey! All right. Tommy Dawkins: (Hiding.) Psst! Merton! No, it's me, Tommy Dawkins. Merton Dingle: What are you doing here? The football team came to egg my house again. Forget it. Okay, my dad installed egg-proof siding, so there is no...! (Sees Tommy as a werewolf.) (Merton stands on a floor-button, and a water gun drops into one hand and a crucifix into the other) Merton Dingle: Stay back! This baby's loaded with holy water and I'm an excellent marksman. Tommy Dawkins: Whoa! What's your problem, man? I thought you know about me? Merton Dingle: Check my teacher evaluations, okay. I have what's known as an overactive imagination. I didn't actually expect to be right! (Merton pulls a pull-cord next to him and a net falls over Tommy) Tommy Dawkins: Get this thing off of me! Merton Dingle: Um, no... Look at the record: the Werewolf of Burgundy gorged on human flesh, the Werewolf of Shallins committed crimes so heinous the courts destroyed all documentation. I'm just taking precautions, pal. Tommy Dawkins: You're the one that said you could help me in the first place. If you can't help, I'll go to the hospital, or the police! Merton Dingle: No, no, don't do that. You'll wind up as some covert government experiment being probed. Actually, I could do that right here, but I barely know you. (Merton sees Tommy has freed himself of the net and looks scared) Tommy Dawkins: Listen, you've gotta help me, man. I'm not evil, I'm just... hairy. Merton Dingle: In the history of werewolf cinema good werewolves have only appeared in Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf Two, but those are comedies. Tommy Dawkins: Really? I don't think they're that funny. Merton Dingle: (Hearing noise from upstairs.) Ah, you better get outta here. My ... sister sees you, you'll be on CNN by midnight. Go! (Tommy crawls out the window just as his sister comes in with her friend Heidi) Becky Dingle: Uh! See, Heidi, I told you the freakaholic has an albino snake. He gives them micicles, okay? They're frozen mice. Isn't that nasty? Merton Dingle: Hey, mall rats! Get out of my lair, or I'm gonna start bodsin! Yeah, run! (Hears a wolf howl in the distance.) Huh, cool! (Tommy running hyper-speed down streets) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: I still needed to make a quiet entry past my brother Dean. (Lounge room. Dean's on the phone.) Dean Dawkins: Yeah, I'll take a large pepperoni pizza. Yeah, thanks. (Tommy enters behind him but makes noise) Dean Dawkins: (Without looking back.) Ooh, look who's trying to sneak in past curfew. (Dean claps his hands which triggers the light to switch on. Tommy claps to turn it off.) Dean Dawkins: Oh, you do not want a clapping war with me, little bro, 'cause I will take you down! (Dean claps, Tommy immediately claps. They repeat this a number of times.) Dean Dawkins: Okay! Cease fire, cease fire! Pop up Videos is back on. Besides, I'm exhausted. (Tommy races up the stairs to his room.) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: The next full moon wasn't for another month, and I was back to my old self. No claws, no fangs, and I only had to shave once. (High school hallway. Tommy is following Stacey as she walks.) Tommy Dawkins: Come on, Stacey, please! Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: I started patching up with Stacey, but for a smooth-talker like me, I figured that would be no problem. Tommy Dawkins: ...sunglasses. Stacey Hanson: Yeah, that'll help. Tommy Dawkins: Come on, Stacey, please! Stacey Hanson: Whatever. Tommy Dawkins: I'm sorry. Come on, Stacey, please. Admit it. You had a good time. Come on. Admit it! Stacey Hanson: All right, all right. Get up! Meet me at The Factory tonight. About eight o'clock? Tommy Dawkins: I will be there at seven fifty-nine. Sharp! (Merton's being pushed into his locker by TNT) Merton Dingle: I'm gonna file a complaint with the American Association of Bullies! Only freshmen can be stuffed into lockers. (Tommy intervenes) Tommy Dawkins: Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys! Guys! Guys! Let's leave him alone, huh? For me, please? Merton Dingle: Yeah, yeah! Besides, aren't you gastropods due back into primordial stew? Tim: Look, I don't know what that means, but I do know you won't be so lucky next time, Dangle-dork! TNT: TNT rules! (Leave.) Tommy Dawkins: Look, about the other night, I promise I will not bother you again, okay? Merton Dingle: Hey, yeah, yeah. I downloaded the collected works of the Professor Flugelhoff in the University of Heidelberg. He's the world's foremost scholar of lycanthropes. the dude knows werewolves. Tommy Dawkins: I knew you cared enough to help me. Merton Dingle: Are you kidding? I've been waiting my whole life for something like this! Do you realize what a gift you have? Superhuman speed, hyper senses? The fleas might be a bit of a problem, but, uh... Tommy, are you listening? Tommy Dawkins: Sorry, just a little preoccupied. I'm meeting with Stacey Hansen tonight at... Merton Dingle: But you're a werewolf, okay? A shapeshifter, a... a transmogrifying freak of nature and you're worried about some insignificant date with... Did you say Stacey Hansen? Tommy Dawkins: Yeah! (They both laugh.) Merton Dingle: She is incandescent. Tommy Dawkins: Hey, why don't you come by The Factory later on tonight? I'll totally introduce you to her. Merton Dingle: Really? Thanks! Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: It was strange. From the look on Merton's face, you'd think no one had ever invited him anywhere before. (The Factory) Tommy Dawkins Voiceover: I was back on track with Stacey and it looked like Merton was hitting it off with Stacey's friends. Merton Dingle: I was facing an army of Orcs and all I had was a plus-six light sword in twelve hit points! Oh yeah! The heat was on. Friend: Would you excuse us forever? (Leaves with other friend.) Merton Dingle: (To himself.) Way to go, Freakenstein! (TNT grab his shoulders from behind) Travis: We meet again! Tim: Dingle! (They lift him and move him) Merton Dingle: I was sitting... (To Tommy.) Help! (Tommy transforms at once and licks his lips, but transforms back a moment later) Stacey Hanson: Tommy! Not here! We're in a public place. (Tommy transforms back and goes into the alley out back where TNT have carried Merton) Merton Dingle: It's only fair to warn you my father's a Navy SEAL. I can... Travis: What do you think, Tim? You work on the suplex, the figure-four, or should we go straight to the body slam? TNT: Body slam! (Tommy drops down next to TNT and throws Travis away and pushes Tim up against a wall) Tim: Travis! Merton Dingle: Have a seat, losers! Travis: Tim! It looked like some kind of creature. (TNT run away) Merton Dingle: Ha, ha! There's more where that came from! Oh yeah! Thanks, Tommy. Tommy? (Tommy's peeping inside where he sees Stacey dancing with another guy) Merton Dingle: What are you doing back here? Tommy Dawkins: That should be me in there dancing with her, but no! I'm a freaking monster! Merton Dingle: You saved my butt, Tommy. A monster wouldn't have done that. Except for maybe Swamp Thing. He had a good heart. Come on, we should get you back to the lair before the dog catcher makes his rounds. Tommy? Tommy Dawkins: Yeah, yeah. Coming. (Merton's lair) Tommy Dawkins: Merton, I thought this was only supposed to happen during a full moon. Merton Dingle: Yeah, well, ah, Professor Flugelhoff also states that a werewolf can metamorphosize under extreme situations such as anger, fear, confusion. And I'm not sure what Sprakelbrotten means, but I think it's some type of Bavarian sausage. So, you know, stay away from Oktoberfest this year. Tommy Dawkins: Is there a cure for this? Merton Dingle: Uh, well, there's the, uh, wooden stake to the heart. Mm, yeah! Or the classic silver bullet to the head. Bang! You gotta love that. Yeah, I'll try to think of something a little less fatal. (Becky comes in) Becky Dingle: Try to keep it down. (Sees Tommy.) Tommy Dawkins?! You're supposed to be cool. What are you doing here? Tommy Dawkins: I'm, uh, I'm a friend of your brother's. Merton Dingle and Becky Dingle: Really? Becky Dingle: Oh my gosh! I've gotta call Heidi. She's gonna freak! (Leaves.) Merton Dingle: Okay, uh, did you mean what you said about us being friends? Tommy Dawkins: Hey, I'm a werewolf and I'm, uh, gonna need an Igor, right? Merton Dingle: Igor? I love the Igor! Igor toiled with Dr. Frankenstein! Then was something of a hunchback goon, but, uh, I accept. (They shake hands but Tommy's wolf hand hurts Merton) Merton Dingle: Argh! Yeah, we're gonna have to get you a manicure. So it wasn't exactly the senior year I had in mind, but I knew one thing: it was going to be interesting. Category:Transcripts